An Honest Look At Adoption In Little Montgomery by Ilana Jael
As Little Montgomery ultimately demonstrates, adoption can be a beautiful way for families to come together outside of traditional means. Yet though it is something that touches the lives of many Americans, with an adopted child being part of approximately one out of every 25 US families, the complexity of emotions that can be associated with the adoption process and its aftermath is still something that many who are unfamiliar with the topic may fail to recognize.
Seth Trucks as Larry and Krystal Millie Valdes as Megan in New City Players’ production of Little Montgomery.
For example, after only a surface look at the life of a character like Montgomery’s Megan, who was given up for adoption shortly after birth, it might be hard for someone to understand why she seems to be so bitter about having been placed with a loving family that seems to be doing their utmost to provide for her.
However, understanding her point of view may start with understanding the fact that many adoptees see themselves as having been “abandoned” by their birth parents and experience a profound sense of “loss” when imagining the life they might have lived had they never been given up. The resultant grief, which some experts refer to as “adoption trauma,” is often also associated with feelings of rejection, anger, and shame.
These painful emotions may manifest in children and teen adoptees as behavioral problems and issues forming healthy attachments. As noted in this fact sheet, it’s not uncommon for adopted children to direct these emotions at their adoptive parents, or to “act out” with authority figures to regain a sense of control.
We can clearly see how many of these factors inform Megan’s character in Little Montgomery, from her history of setting fires at school to her obvious resentment of her adoptive parents, who she demonstrates her distance from by referring to them only as “Brenda” and “Larry.” At one point, she describes the sense of betrayal she felt when she learned these parents were actually unrelated “other people,” and appears to be driven throughout the play by a rage which another character describes as resembling the “fury of a spurned god.”
Larry and Megan share an awkward hug.
Like many adoptees, she also has a strong need to learn as much as she can about her family or origin. To go any further into explaining how this plays out would involve giving away one of the play’s twists, so expect a few spoilers starting next paragraph, but she appears to be even more resentful of her biological parents than she is at Brenda and Larry.
As it turns out, the reason she set out to kidnap country music star Rick Montgomery in the first place was because she discovered he is one of those biological parents. And now that she knows the truth, she’s intent on getting Rick to hand over a guitar that belonged to her mother and to her mother’s mother before that—not only because it is her birthright, but because she is dead-set on getting vengeance.
“If she got to forget that I existed, it’s only fair that the universe forgets she existed too,” Megan describes.
Post-adoption grief is also not something experienced by adoptees alone. Though most birth parents who give up custody of a child believe the decision to be in the child’s best interests, they may still suffer a not-insignificant sense of loss after deciding to give up custody. This side of adoption is also touched on in Little Montgomery, when Rick reveals that Megan’s mother was haunted by dreams of and worries about the daughter she’d never known.
Experts have also identified a unique set of issues faced by adoptive parents, especially those who come to adoption after encountering obstacles like infertility in their quest to start a family more traditionally. Though the majority of adoptive parents love their children fiercely, they might also find themselves grieving their “loss” of a biological child that never was.
Such individuals may also struggle with the idea that they may not have been “meant” to be parents and become insecure about their ability to parent a child that is not really “theirs”. This in turn may lead some adoptive parents to disengage and others to overcompensate, which could be at play in Larry’s somewhat overzealous approach to fatherhood.
Adoption trauma is also something that follows many adopted children into adulthood, and that can have serious repercussions. For instance, adoptees are almost twice as likely to suffer from mood disorders as children raised in typical families, and four times more likely to attempt suicide. In another point of connection with Water By the Spoonful, adopted children are also at a higher risk of substance use disorders. In that show, the lifelong impact of the experience and the added difficulty faced by those who are adopted into a family of a different cultural or racial background than their family of origin was well-illustrated by a character known by their screen name Orangutan, who was born in Japan and adopted by a white American family shortly afterward.
Having decided that the way to break out of their cocaine addiction is to reconnect with their roots, Orangutan makes the journey to their homeland; only to find themselves feeling just as out of place there as they did as one of the only Asian individuals in their hometown.
“Wherever I go, I don’t make sense there,” they describe.
As they struggle to define their identity amidst such conflicts and to move past early wounds, many adoptees may benefit from the guidance of mental health professionals. But especially when adoptive parents are educated about adoption trauma and how to address it appropriately, its mere existence isn’t something that precludes any given adoptive family from becoming as happy and healthy as any other.
And for those without a personal connection to adoption, being made aware of adoption trauma as a concept—and thus of the fact that adoptees may not see having been “rescued” by their adoptive family as an uncomplicated good—may help them to be more sensitive around the subject and understanding of the darker emotions it may evoke.
In examining this darker side of adoption but ultimately portraying the relationship between Megan and her adoptive father as a positive one that both value intensely, Little Montgomery is likely a more balanced portrayal of it than works that present a more idealized view. And since any insight into the adoptee experience you might take from the show is only one reason among many this moving and hilarious story is one worth seeing, you definitely don’t want to miss it on this upcoming final weekend!
Little Montgomery
by Stephen Brown
Directed by Michael Gioia
Megan and Kimmy are sixteen-years-old, best friends, and currently planning to commit grand larceny against country music star Rick Montgomery at his concert tonight. As they put their plan into play, songs will be sung, secrets will be revealed, and teenage girls will find out how difficult it is to exact revenge. Check out our podcast series adapted from this play!
WHEN
July 6-23, 2023
WHERE
Island City Stage
TICKET PRICE
$20-35